KRE8IVITY STRIKES

I consider myself to be a creative person. I enjoy coming up with stories, developing each character and setting into something unique and real, drawing them and even creating some quite complicated profiles. I would be the last person to suggest that creativity sometimes goes a bit too far.

Which is a total lie, of course, because sometimes it does. The naming of innocent children, for instance, has always been a place for some parents to show the world how clever and unique they are, at the expense of their child. The Unfortunate Modern Names section contains many such names. They are primarily drawn from birth announcements, or from resources known to be reliable. As disturbing as it may be to read of babies named Aryan Justice, Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K and Ssqwtyhese, it is even more disturbing to realize that someone, somewhere thought it was a good idea.

Not that strange names are a new thing. People have been giving their children "unique" monikers for a long time, most likely since names were invented. Some Neanderthal mother probably looked at her infant and thought, "everyone's naming their kid Ugh. I'm spelling it Uh'gh. It's fresh and different!" Fortunately, no one understood English at the time, so little Ugh was able to get off easy.

In gathering these names, I think it's important to point out that I do not mean to make fun of the children. Kids don't usually have a say in what name their parents foist upon them. I do, however, make fun of the parents, because they've made that choice. A name sets up an expectation - do you honestly believe Rawhide Soldier's parents would be okay with him being a ballet dancer? I don't.

Some names are included because of their surreal or bizarre nature. I don't necessarily dislike some of them, especially when the odd name is in the middle, but think about living with a wierd name your whole life, or having to spell your name every single time someone else needs to write it down, or having people look at you funny when you introduce yourself, or feel that prickle of irritation when you have to repeat your name over and over, and you'll see why many of these are unfortunate.

Unfortunate Historical Names contains the many virtue names the Puritans used, as well as some interesting names from the last two centuries. We've gained enough distance from them to think of them as quaint and charming, but I doubt old Fly-fornication felt the same way.

The modern names are taken from birth announcements, newspaper articles or other sources I would consider to be trustworthy. I have tried very hard to steer clear of urban legend names such as Female and the Jello twins. Please note that I have not included last names on any of the listings. I have also not linked to web nurseries out of concern for the privacy of the child and his or her family. States where the names were discovered are listed when possible.

Another Kind of Unfortunate gives examples of names that are unpleasant for very different reasons, communicating the troubles of the parents in clear and sometimes very moving ways. Most examples come from Africa, but will be expanded to include more from around the world.

Aside from the names, there are some segments to help writers who need a jump-start in research. At the moment, Mental Illness in Children and Adolescents is available. This section will be substantially expanded over time to include more common disorders. I have worked in psychiatric facilities as a counselor for several years, and have found that, while mental illness is a popular subject, it is often misrepresented, particularly in depictions of younger people. Each section also has links at the bottom of the page for further exploration.

If you happen to be looking for a name, try the Name List! Over 50,000 names for boys and girls from all over the world. Go to the homepage to learn more.

UNFORTUNATE NAMES

MODERN REAL NAMES OF REAL PEOPLE

SOMETIMES, PARENTS JUST HAVE TO INDULGE THEIR WANDERLUST Roaming the world without leaving the cradle, from Ontario to Haiti, Talladega to Daytona and Malaysia to Ambergris Caye	AND SOMETIMES, PARENTS JUST HAVE TO INDULGE 'Spirited' names, from the refinement of Dom Perignon to the more democratic Bacardi.
YOU WISH They may look angelic...	WHY BABY WON'T LISTEN Asking for trouble. Master Joe and Demonica don't do dishes.
HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT? PART TWO Yewneek twists on standard names. Poor Ullexxyu Dunnyelle. Poor Ssqwtyhese. Poor teachers.	IT'S IN THE DICTIONARY Or, why Clearance, Envy, Pepsi and Celebrity are not just found in commercials
A ROYAL PAIN Starting a dynasty of your own.	TAKE AWAY THEIR REMOTE You didn't really name him Obi-Wan, did you?
GROOVY, MAN Explore the mysteries of SunnyDae Flowers, Mystery Veil, Dancing Breeze and Ocean Blue	I'M COOL, RIGHT? TELL ME I'M COOL! Sharkey, Ninja and Rawhide Soldier, all future founding members of the AV Club
WE GET IT, ALREADY! Americas Liberty Bell, Confederate America, Talove Anbless... Jeez, no need to bludgeon us with it	TRYING TOO HARD Sometimes, eye-rolling is the only thing one can do. I mean, India Seven Jet?
ALPHABET SOUP PART TWO Mkylhy Rhyknn - what happens when you name your child by drawing letters out of a scrabble bag	YOU'VE LOST ME Where Travis is a girl and Posey is a boy.
OH, DEAR LORD, NO! Weather'by Dot Com Chanel Fourcast, Aryan Justice, Fuzzmuffin Sweetie Girl and Urhines Kendall Icy-Eight Special-K. Makes you wonder what the parents could possibly have been thinking.	WAY TO KILL THEIR INDIVIDUALITY Tai-Kerrian and Ty'Kerrion, Riddhi and Siddhi, Cole and Colby, Tytrese, Tyrese, Tytrale and Tyrin... parents do know these are separate people, right?

KRE8IVITY STRIKES!

UNFORTUNATE NAMES

MODERN REAL NAMES OF REAL PEOPLE

HISTORICAL UNFORTUNATE NAMES

ANOTHER KIND OF UNFORTUNATE

UNFORTUNATE SURNAMES

Mental Illness